How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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