I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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