So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
