She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize