your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize