It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
