Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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