did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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