id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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