Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
