so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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