I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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