Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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