We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
