I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
