my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
