I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
