In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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