she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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