I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
