Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just invented taco cereal.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
