Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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