the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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