Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
A bitchslap is in order.
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