Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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