well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
