Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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