Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I cannot find my penis.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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