My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
