I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Randomize
