Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
