she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
