Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
