I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
