You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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