just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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