Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize