It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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