Say something about gay babies.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
