I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
