I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
