playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Randomize
