no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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