Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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