There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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