i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
So squirting runs in the family.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Randomize
