Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
