I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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