I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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