if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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