i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
