i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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