i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
