Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
