i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
