its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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