I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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