please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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