Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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