1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
