Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
