I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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