I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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